Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Legal Prostitution

So I am totally living the college life... I have been unsuccessful thus far at finding a job I can stand. So due to my unemployment I am even more financially destitute than I normally am. Due to my destitution I decided to prostitute my blood. I donated plasma.
I was completely terrified. I have never given blood, never gotten a blood test, nothing. Like I said before I was completely terrified. Anne and Brit came too so we were all there for moral support. It took about 4 hours. They ask you a bunch of awkward questions which the answers at least in my case are always no. I was tempted to say yes just to get a rise out of them but they tell you before hand that lying is a felony. I decided to stick to the truth, although thinking about it now jail might have been a fun experience, but then I couldn't have donated plasma...that's one of the awkward question they ask. Anyways after they asked me a bunch of questions and checked my toes and knees to make sure I wasn't an illicit drug user, I would definitely go for the toes, they finally sent me back to "The Donor Floor." I sat in a chair while they pumped out my blood took out the plasma and then put the red blood cells back in...it was not as bad as I thought it would be. After I was done the lobotomist put the little bandage/wrap thing on my arm and somehow thought it should be a tourniquet. I had to leave it on for 2 hours despite its impact on my circulation. Why did I do all this might you ask...no no it was not a selfless act to save someone else in a medical emergency...it was for $30.00 Now I can go grocery shopping.


ANNE said...

true, true - it was totally worth it. although, i guess we'll have to put a hold on our romantic dream to spend at least one night in jail...for plasma's sake ;)

Jessica Davis said...